I Come to the Garden Alone

I took to the women's getaway like a person who breathes a fresh breath of Autumn air, thinking to myself, it is good for me to spend time with God, it is good for me to spend time with other women exploring the depth He has in our lives, it is good for me to take time and pray, and think, and be.

Those things happened, but what I felt more was God’s voice saying, “It is good for ME that you are here as well.” For a very real moment, I realized something that I’ve bothered to ignore for the past few years: God delights in the time I spend with Him, when I come honestly and truthfully. It’s not a one-way road – He likes it too. It’s not a task to get those moments with Him; they are sacred and blessed moments full of grace and beauty.

God likes spending time with me though?

Me? The one who gets distracted? The one that can’t seem to stop comparing?

Yes me. Abundantly. Because I am His daughter, a chosen one.

And He revealed something to me in that time. At the getaway, Heather read a Lament by a woman after the loss of her son. It included a reference to John 11:17, “Jesus comforts the sisters.”

I lost my brother due to cancer more than a decade ago, and yet still I ache. I wonder “why,” I wonder “if.” My face is filled with tears at times. But the scripture, “Jesus Wept,” never rang more true than in that intimate time I had with Him over the weekend.

I realized Jesus was grieving with me as well. He knew how I felt, and He felt it too. He wept. I always knew He was there with me. I always knew that He had a plan for my life, and for my brother’s, as well. What I didn’t really realize until then, when I spent a substantial time in that passage, was that He hurt too. He understood my pain.

So praise be to our Father who not only died for us, but endures our hurts and sorrows along with us, and shows us the joy that comes along with the morning’s daylight.

~Lisa Nelson